Southern Protocol

Once again, I wasn’t overly enthused with any of the Emmys red carpet frocks. Is it just me, or did half of the women there look like they were headed to a Christmas fete? It IS August, is it not? I don’t want to see what looks like maroon velvet, I don’t want to see so much navy, I don’t want to see heavy and stiff draping.

I watch the red carpet to remind myself of why I love fashion – and also to be bitter that I don’t have frequent opportunities to don ball gowns and fabulous vintage couture dazzlers. And two leading ladies that reminded me? January Jones and Anna Paquin. Two leading ladies that are on half the best dressed lists and half the worst dressed lists? January Jones and Anna Paquin.

I loved the “mullet” that was January’s electric blue Versace dress. Perhaps it’s because we’re such huge fans of the crinoline look, I don’t know. It was so flattering on her, and she seriously stood out. I wasn’t entirely wild about the cocktail umbrellas that were covering her girls, but all-in-all the detailing was fantastic.

I also loved the sleek Egyptian hardware at the top of Anna’s McQueen dress. Who needs millions of dollars worth of accessories when you have THAT built in?! She looked modern and simply elegant all at the same time. My one tweak to her: as much as I loved the mullet of January’s dress, I very much disliked it on Anna’s. It just looked the tailor forgot to take out some pins.

One hugely best dressed candidate that I DO agree with was Heather Morris. She took the head to toe sparkle look that’s so popular right now and twisted it with a big dose of Old Hollywood Glamour. A style that’s right up my alley… She looked gorgeous! It was fun seeing her dolled up in something other than a cheerleader’s skirt and ponytail, a la her Glee character, Brittany.

Notables that made me screech in horror when they debuted on the screen: first and foremost Christina Hendricks. Oh my GOD it was such a hot mess of lavender, low-cut and feathers. Yikes. Accentuate your curves, don’t strangle them! Holly Burrell also literally made me choke on my popcorn – I mean it was just God awful!

The Emmys are on Sunday – woo! That just sounds like such a great way to end my upcoming weekend… hanging out on the couch with some popcorn and wine, cheering when shows I love win, but most of the time scratching my head when shows I’ve never heard of win. Top night.

I was going to do a fun “who I think will win” post… but then I realized I’m so completely biased towards Modern Family and Glee, that it just wouldn’t even be fair. So I’ll leave the guesses to y’all, and we’ll be back on Monday to discuss red carpet hits and misses.

Just so there is SOME small point to this post, then: have y’all heard about what they’re doing to be super tech savvy and interactive with all of us at home? On Wednesday NBC posted a list of celebrities on their site who will be making appearances at the awards show on Sunday evening, encouraging twitter fanatics across the country to submit a line or two introducing each of said celebrities. 15 winners will be chosen, and their tweets will be read live on air as the awards are handed out. Two of the celebrities on the list? Jon Hamm from Mad Men and Matthew Morrison from Glee. HOW COOL!

While I didn’t actually watch the Emmys last night (and by “the Emmys” I mean the red carpet at the Emmys…I gave up watching the whole telecast a long time ago – it’s just so long!), I spent some time flipping through all the various Best and Worst Dressed lists this afternoon. And I have to be honest – I was disappointed and bored. Where are all the fun dresses?? Where are all the stylists?? Most of these television starlets’ looks were completely outdated and off. I like being wowed at awards shows, mainly because I dream of the day when I can play dress-up with a gorgeous gown; so when these girls don’t take advantage of their opportunity, it makes me sad. There were SO few looks that were actually worthy of the event.

Except for the absolutely fantastic January Jones. This dress is to DIE for! Look at that shape! Look at those patterns! Look at that train! Look at the beautifully contrasting fabric textures! Just…look!

It’s hard to find a truly standout gown for awards shows these days; everything’s been done yet you have to try (at least) three times a year to find a totally knockout frock. January Jones SO succeeded – I’ve never seen anything like this on the red carpet. And it fits her like a dream. Such a different silhouette than her alter-ego Ms. Draper would ever dare wear!

So applause for you, January. Hands down my favorite look of the night.